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Tying Up Loose Friends

by Celestaphone

supported by
minisculebarber
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minisculebarber This record is fucking exciting! I have no idea if this record is good in any conventional sense, but its utter uniqueness alone is worthy of your time and your money. It's like if J Dilla, Quasimoto, MF Doom, JPEGMAFIA and Danny Brown made the soundtrack of a children's cartoon. Starring pitch-shifted Kendrick Lamar. Produced by the Avalanches. I paid 5 bucks for this. I immediately bought their latest release for 5 bucks again before posting this. It's that good! Have fun, y'all!
WAAAAAAAAA
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WAAAAAAAAA Celestaphone doesn't rap very well in the traditional sense. It doesn't even register, though because the beat and rhymes are tight as fuck and they fit the style and tone of his voice. I fuck with every song on this album. Favorite track: Just for You.
DaRuckus
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DaRuckus Celestaphone provides a sound and style that cannot be found elsewhere. Favorite track: Poets Club.
Odis Barnett
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Odis Barnett It really doesn't matter... Favorite track: Easy Come, Easy Go.
TheOrbitSound
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TheOrbitSound A hidden gem. Truly bizarre and unique, can't wait for more.
Favorite Tracks: Easy Come Easy Go and Goul
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1.
Welcome 02:04
2.
[Verse 1] She screaming like an octuple A battery Just seen Munch at the gallery in an intimate feed See you next weekend long as lung and neck sequence Keep breathing so I won't deem you misleading If there's one thing I learned from Wayne it was how to eat pussy To think of him is not so sane when you're playing with cookie Next day andale the homies tryna get Cane's Headway the squad came we all eating today Got the 3 Finger Combo you know I love me that sauce Saw the she from before when I looked up across With a new nigga now, not quick to frown Maybe her brother's in town, don't want to smother her down So I finished up ate the dinner up didn't interrupt With a little luck then I hit her up with inner love [Chorus] (Easy come, easy go) Easy come, easy go Where the clock turns to the other side Ready to go It really doesn't matter, begging like a dog [Verse 2] Took a look in the fridge I'm checking the milk she treating it like some fine wine Don't need to see eye to eye but geez if that's not a sign I don't wanna find what is, already not fine with this The stigmas are piling, the witness not trifling I'm okay with calling it quits right here and right now Not a peep not a sound we can seek other towns I'ma look up some flights tonight as long as the books are right The last words I give to you toots are "take care" and "goodnight" Is this fair or am I overreacting? (Are you laughing?) No, but when I said run my gut started clapping So I told the chick quick that I had to go That last minute affection I was too sad to show She took notice and told me she was breaking up Breaking up? What? But you were supposed to be my little honey bunch [Chorus] (Easy come, easy go) Easy come, easy go Where the clock turns to the other side Ready to go It really doesn't matter, begging like a dog
3.
Pop 02:19
[Verse 1] Peace and love America, for you I have hysteria My bruises colored wisteria, fresh wounds in visible areas Masochist in nature, pacifist on paper, assalamualaikum A Mule and forty acres is what they promised for our labour Grand be the land of Coca-Cola and remote controllers Teaching ad to ad a plan via psychomotor boners Tanning from the beams of dozens of crimes between the lines Coming to ban and muzzle those who team to pan the span of lies One day you say too much and oh boy it's just your luck You hear a pop This man had worked for his country, it got to his head His workplace exposed him to hazardous lead But I wanna die in the scene of my family and peers So if I die right here then I'll leave them in tears Please mister please, will you please understand Gretchen my youngest and Peter's the man Owen's my brother and Kate is my wife Poor uncle Charlie's lost eye from a knife I can't forget my momma and my old man my pops [Verse 2] Give a shit back on it, touching gloves after corners Bunch of love from the foreigners bringing hugs across the border And as soon as I hear the bell we getting silly The fight was plain sight not running around equipped in ghillie It's funny momma taught no altercation, now I do it for compensation Paid vacation all account of my banking, pugnacious Concentrated on that real paper chasing Kind that spit in your gourmet dish, even from your favorite waitress And girl while you looking up all these scenes Lets get you a pair of jeans, apart of the western dream Like them red flare lilies we love the heat Like bears to sheep you better flee No sucking teeth don't stare at me Commonly known as common sense and Having to call to dead men ain't right for future tense man After the match is over they look for the hand to hold Rather it's up or down they still finna call you home
4.
Just for You 04:22
[Intro] I bleached my hair, just for you My pants are tapered, I sharpen my shoes [Verse 1] Hard blow get so rare nose hair get combed bare Add another stair feel the heart sharp like no air Grasp up, lung like a gas pump, drunk from the brass cup Couldn't win the gold got put up in a mass slump Any sweeties wanna treat me, weak from knees to feeties Wounds were kinda meaty, nurses shy to meet me The Band-Aid was handmade it does sting like canned Raid Made a hundred bands just from handling a brand's name Did it all for you, barbecued a red kangaroo Hear my point of view, the spew they try to misconstrue Ask me, do I play the role that heffers cast me Nasty, won't be known today for only backseat Shotgun, cock one for the block son Hit the pot once, cigs will make your teeth rot fun Beat the snot outta snitches culture tatted on the wrist The court ruled rap guilty on account of the assist [Chorus] Am I just another guy now? (I need someone just like you) Please, please show me that you need me girl (Please tell me what I have to do) [Verse 2] Slip of the big lip, snap with their shit quick Out of town clowns left rap with its wrists slit Chicken, just made some room in the fryer The desire I require hear the doom from the choir Cue the newsroom while you caught up in a costume Not groomed, fans do but news can't do Without you well dressed looking like a swell mess Foul breath booking shows without a care left They want you in the hooks now, off of the books now Look down, nose brown, shows bound to crooks now How it looks so shiny before the John Hancock Whining when you find me swarm to store mans stock Sorry 'bout that one, it's starry from the back son Reality shows it's far from a snack son Morality, mortality, not in this business I can do as I please without a live witness [Chorus] Am I just another guy now? (I need someone just like you) Please, please show me that you need me girl (Please tell me what I have to do) [Verse 3] Caught with more 9s than Pitchfork gave 'Ye Holidays pass away, they were designed that way Not looking for coal whether Christmas or Halloween in the distance You're not niche just mimicking tradition Like Fritz & Mike, do the sex with your rivals wife Highlights get typed if you like those survival fights All these elders nod to young just to poke fun Then go swelter in some fraud like Araya's mortgage mod run Rome was not built in a day not even the Colosseum Death was a sure guilt, I picked out the mausoleum Ex girl called asking for a place to stay I said there's plenty of fish out here in (Sheepshead Bay) It ain't right to test me 'cause I wear no wigs Your verbal wrestling makes me come quick like Miggs Ribs got to spitting quit dicking chickens who are Wiccans My guts say these types I'm picking are a given
5.
Draft 04:16
[Intro] (The draft) Let love fly, fly tonight Let love fly, fly tonight Are you ready for the draft? (No) Think she's ready for the draft? (Yes) Think he's ready for the draft? (Oh) Are you ready for the draft? [Verse 1] Gave the chick a knick of the nicotine patches She won't even think to leave, before she sleeps she'll think she's getting high off me I'm wanting and wanting to get her dad to hire me As far as I can see, I'm the best please like the chess piece my queen and I move diagonally Any way, come straight head first fun rate into something somewhat of a dynasty Coming up with it privately, eyeing me You a fool if you think we do righteously Running and gunning the innocent up and then fronting it up with a smile see Working UN got me meeting up with Costa Rica No if ands or buts for coconut on the pizza Slice there, dice here, my peer on the right chair My topic that they might steer put a coffin where they like prayer No right-of-way for pedestrians, so here's a lesson You're only messing, call it co-finessing And I, wanted to send myself to please them The reason why you melt is not to appease men We driving? Throw me the keys then At this point we need make up lessons like it's cosmo class It was sex first, we desensed spurts, shall we call it crass Come here and tell me what you're doing 'cause I asked Counting up on the numbers, I'm loving the summer, the winter's a bummer So what of my slumber I'm calling the plumber to get the old tub done and I hope it's a fun one What? You already sound asleep As if you was a parakeet just listen listen repeat My brothers in arms, and I don't mean a hug For every gun that you count expect a body Hun, and I don't want to run let's get to dancing for fun The army didn't say I'd be here with nobody Light skin to dark skin, we'll all be coming over Everybody imaginable like the band played bossa nova We getting forced to kill 'cause our country wanted us to But no torches in the air, it's innate, we wanted to
6.
[Verse 1] Higher stakes than druggos eating gourmet Or foreplay with stoner whores, of course it's your game Road in with a horse to the meet-up thieves morse the source was freed up Wish the course would speed up need a fort to put my feet up Pins and needles, must have slept on my arm again, the bargains dead Bust sweat from us alarming feds, it's hard bread Enough to harm friends via whine to whine combat Know you signed a contract, Gaia's earth did contact She said you fucked up buddy that was dumb money Like the drum thumping get your rhythm honey or shit wont be funny Pissed this vision picked position of the victim Like division in ism there's no missing the criticism Out here trying to catch a solid buck as I give an honest fuck Chick dished a novice cluck, kid chugged his first suck Baby steps daily lately out here up in the trenches The type that maybe, just maybe, paved my way to the benches [Chorus] [Verse 2] At the crime scene like Mickey Mouse, no finger prints Pulled a quickie at the house, no lingering Gold mingling, all twinkling, sold many gems All sweaty men exploding with grins Called the gal up 'bout winnings, quit pretending You beginning, audition for the role still pending No kidding, I'm here rethinking my whole game plan Last was a lame plan of a no named man I'm brand new baby, coming out clean Gonna get fit lady, gonna get lean The fuck you mean you was working for feds Cause I swear last Tuesday we was sharing the bed Speak of bugaboo, I'm seeing red and blue Think on it now I knew I left a clue boo hoo (Come out with your hands up sir You're under arrest for giving us stress and armed robbery too) [Chorus]
7.
Ghoul 04:02
[Verse 1] Tricky like post-op masturbation, flesh in the basement Concealed with a fragrant, iffy smell almost blatant Point me to pleasure perhaps I'm looking for Mothman Bet you we get red eyes too with flash on the cam Shout out to Liz and her distichia, it made you prettier Twisting inside of yuh bitter twilights with Lydia But them is violet colors, Conrad with violent summers Rarer than green, both wont be seen, unlike a tundra Like pasque my pack has a max of eight, basket or plate We eat and not prate, does any need a casket of late? These companies move knowing they have the right to fuck yuh Like 2nd cousins don't look enough like yuh to have pastors stutter Pass the butter, 'bout to spread that shit right on my toast I mean to boast, global getting face, blown coast to coast Shout out to Zorak, rest in peace Croker Put down a floor mat for all petite piece smokers A bitch so cold my nips got hard and froze Peep machismo, never let you use me again like a gizmo Time traveler give yuh the lick from the future In twenty five years you'll be addicted to computer Obama doing Perlman's Fallout 3 speech Life of instant vegetation call it SpeedTree, IDV sees Flawed like spawn penned from Todd Solondz palm, just into song Writing shit to fit the single digit minute long I know it's wrong, learnt from a parent, product of a narcissist Talk about my schlong, make sure she staring, some catharsis shit I don't write raps I spit hymns Got the right map while y'all sitting on sins Never quitting the pen, called in as Ben Dover A gift to spit these gems, four leaf clover Sure to look up cane coppers for a beat flexing More than niggas name dropped Trump pre election Peep the message, art imitates life School forgot the lesson, did it follow, it just might We ain't dumbing down clown do your research The NSA will learn too with every keyword Get to typing, they will siphon, every sign in, know you're hiding Sweat and crying, way with splicing, deadly spying, show you're whining Rhyming made me an open book, that's my confession I ain't really shook if you scan me with your Epson Or a Canon, this is crate dig jamming All you niggas standing better break into some dancing Social retardation ending up in product placement How amazing, I'm guessing nerds are who really won the race then You hiring? I just may cave in Admiring her bust when the waist thin Running up on her case then like the brave men trusting statesmen And I enter the studio claiming it controlled area No malaria, steady flow gets scarier From another planet my brothers can understand it I wonder what's on the canvas just making these mothers panic A ton of yuh are just frantic, a hundred of us are manic Judging us is not magic your judgement is just some static Give me your dirty love, this is the dragon in your dreams Bagging the machines because this smut we keeping clean But is it what it seems, vanilla in the sheets Squealer on the scenes, feeler of the feets Main girl an aspie, hyperfocus on the nasty Not savant but crafty, quick to open up with past things I don't wanna hear about that shit that's long ago Don't gotta fear getting skipped like trips to personal nirvana though Pajama flow, snug fit on the beat Oh please, didn't have to blow six fig on a lease With these hacks I used to OD on the BS, now I'm macking No more BS OD, those jokes own my own spleen Racking dough at the scene, attack a show with a gleam Weed deeds, Olivia Munn, these bums bleed chameleon blood Come gimme a hug, the only breed not stealing a buzz, dealing with fuzz Turn in your application, we all were burned in with lactation Resume, will it pay before I'm killed from my jactation? Twitching, ditching the kitchen, looking like a ghoul You think your shit's not kicking? Try having no more stool
8.
Poets Club 04:05
[Verse 1] (Uh) 'Cause yuh asked for it Hauling ass for it, hoeing yuh back scoring But them shots is hard, each wall bars and guards Pulling on the arm that taught them playing cards Free cell 'cause well I done played their game Patience obtained while waiting sane And I came out having nothing to say, the same Right now in a better place, room of friendly face Tight space allowed many race convey pain today Hang dismay, sway betray Slanging, banging the cane brought from gangs in ways The idea and the gain, poets club the same train You know this grub we eat it the same way They grouped you to shoot, we teach please shoot your words Word of encouragement, heard you was lurking for nourishment (Motherfucker) [Verse 2] Trapeze, string to string pulling at ease Reverse marionette, I move my own arm I bet Prove to whom bared with our set None other than the youth who don't really care as of yet Though not always the case, always late Sure, but she walk through the hallway, grateful Kate Nasal trait she spoke vocals labeled fatal, slake Just her make, the kind to rumble, quake Beautiful I thank, be kind polite, I've got new lines tonight I've watched Kate write but could not read from sight Scribbles present, magenta notebooks At least when she spoke it was so good
9.
Cave 03:02
10.
[Verse 1] West Caldwell ’94 kicking, Dawn: a tall twelve Test, which clique to sit in? I’m sure they all smell Nine bores it’s all hell, my lore fits i-n-g on all tell Sight to see when brawl swell And as soon as I get to fit in I’m the bucket that you shit in Fucked enough to give in and let you look from a distance Hooked on the menace, dilemmas, the premise Theft me of your presence once you shook off like a blemish Touch that in a minute, for now I mention our detention Compliments, she sent us, Mrs Grissom when I mention You cheating off my test and, your seating gave you this win After school impeachment for my dignity’s in question Hundred word essay that’s dreaded in the best way Classmates that stagnate, the blessings of a test day My brother and his bandmates that never had it that way A mother and a sister who isn’t even past eight [Chorus] The way I is Like it or not Missy It’s just the way I is The way I is Like it or not Mark It’s just the way I is It’s funny I’m running my lane like it’s sane No money no funding no dollar no shame It’s looking like a never ending gig It’s looking like I’m never spending big [Verse 2] So I booked the chicken scrawl to class Sawed my sisters doll in half, whole lotta sass With these counselors pouncing yuh announcing that they’re doubting yuh Kinda easy just believe me getting drowsy off the sound of yuh Bro’s new lead singer: one horny man Wore aloha on pants, swingers juniors and grads Told his singing was flat, that nearly broke up the band They noticed Steve was a brat, I cheered him most handsome man Didn’t matter to him when he grabbed a ten as I prattled and grinned Saddling in, piano seduction, I’m channeled to win Heard through the grape vine that you come hither your girls Wouldn’t complain that you was a late mind to run my shower of pearls Suppose it goes to show I’m stuck with who I know Those I can’t dispose, still I strut alone I toyed with their feelings these boys that I’m dealing- With, some appealing, this heart I ploy stealing Sucking it up within the Special People’s Club my love if you know what’s up And daft mom and dad don’t want it up in the back, a cup of that tough luck It’s roughen up, rocking top it’s muffin in the tights everything gets stuffed in Side to side, let alone when I’m at home I get phoned from this thug when I don’t really want to be bugged at all, can’t stop giving attention, not all I fall, I fall, I fall, I fall, I fall I’m broke with balls all through my virgin walls (walls?) Not today it seems, I was spared by custodians who walked into the scene [Chorus] The way I is Like it or not Missy It’s just the way I is The way I is Like it or not Mark It’s just the way I is It’s funny I’m running my lane like it’s sane No money no funding no dollar no shame It’s looking like a never ending gig It’s looking like I’m never spending big
11.
Illusion 02:13

about

Getting vocal; trying ye olde rhyming with timing. Written as a defense move against digital demons, but I don't mean malware—we have RogueRemover for that. All the double meanings are played forward, so no backmasking: you can close out of Audacity and get to reading. (No one had it open to begin with.)

Hear ye, hear ye! We the jury find the defendant not guilty of defaming the plaintiff: a one, Mr. Hip Hop. Whew, that's a relief; if I had gotten in touch with Rakim, would that have been witness tampering? Anyway, back to (c)rapping all over these saucy beats!

[What I assume are] fungus gnats cover my screen as I marathon Solondz and Altman flicks. Wow, they are attracted to light just like me! That's probably why they are wearing prescription glasses, too; oh myopia. No, don't suggest f.lux—I much prefer floaters and blurred vision. Excuse me as I respond to the flooded inbox of P.O.'d optometrists with some facts: "Bugs Bunny and Lola Bunny share the same last name, that is: Incest"―and sent.

This is a concept album; there, now it's a Concept Album. A lot of beauty in dynamics. I question what percent of popular contemporary music is done adventitiously—maybe 80.085 percent? Who am I kidding? Milk bags are about as dynamic as life gets (research: tailor-made brassieres). Just let them breathe hon.

Original intentions were to include an early alpha copy of my friend's new VR game, the uniquely-titled "Strip Club Owner Simulator". Really neat idea; very innovative technology. Erotic dancers asking for second chances, dealing with a customer’s outlandish perversion: pizza deliveries. It had it all really. Only issue was the chick they hired from Fiverr to voice "Stripper 012" wasn't comfortable with the dialogue—specifically a discourse on whether or not she caused the Pollock-esque diarrhea mess in the staff-only bathroom. Hit too close to home, I suppose.

Suppose I will return to ghostwriting for Candlejack. I've been meaning to g—

credits

released July 30, 2018

Produced, mixed & mastered by Celestaphone

Special thanks to:
Alex Haught
Nick Kopfer

©℗ 2018 Drumhex. DHX-006

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